what did I ever see in him
this dull eyed man who stands before me
whom I once cared for when I was more silly than slim
he seemed to tally up his meager emotions and presume
to care for me
until the 'us' we came to know
hit on hard times and ended up falling out into
just a we
we discussed deeper insights and issues tonight
and I suffered a little in the realization
that I would have had an easier ride with him
the last time around if I'd had just a little more
insight
now to me he's nearly a complete stranger and of our
mutual past he's appointed himself chief re-arranger
its difficult to fight the old beaten back feelings
one feels for the man whom one has been so intimate with
he gave me many little things over the years but the
most memorable was his sweet selfless lover's warm
body as a guaranteed pleasure insuring gift
even so, I have alas laid many ill feelings of will
towards this cold man to rest
though some of the finest hours I've ever spent in my
life were with this intimate stranger
if someone would have said it would all boil down
to this
a struggle just to stay out of the way of
inappropriate words I would have never endeavored
to come up with such a guess.................
( written Jan 29,1992 pm)