there are locks placed upon each of our souls
of this did you question or even wonder to know
I thought not
so with myself for this very right I fortunately
fought
dreams give a hazy view of such secret sights
we so often conceal and try to confine
I take some measure of emotional risk
every time I push this pen across the page to
fill yet another line
in just this type of setting we see diminishing marks
of doubt yet little room for extended blood bond
yet no tears when we find out we'll get no free wishes
from the gentle wave of a ferry god mother's wand
and of this oversight you must permit me to entail
of it I'm not too dearly fond
there is tension between me and this specific page
more so than youth today verses advanced age
but not quite as thick as Fonda on Fonda in the movie
ON GOLDEN POND
maybe I am no longer in league with nor the land of
the modern day not so dumb blond
but for my own personal research
I must gage how people yet to be will one day respond
on me now, this vague idea has just this minute dawned
this is the very jugular vein idea in which I seek to
uncover
maybe I shouldn't attempt contact with men from my
day but who knows what I could be so lucky to discover
a friend, a tool, a longer life or perhaps a new and
better version of the modern lover............
( written Jan 16,1992 pm)