Author Information
A FEELING CALLED ENVY
Folder:
JOURNAL #28 I once read about ENVY
green horns
foul breath
an angry pinched disapproving look about the eyes
the article cleverly stated
I marveled at such insight
suggested to many of my friends
and even some acquaintances too
that they would benefit from such an informative
read
as I myself had done
for that ME
ENVY wasn't real
it was an idea
someone brought to my attention
through a well written article
that was worth in the moment looking into
a vague but interesting notion
suspended in my contemplative thoughts
for the mind to turn over and minutely inspect
that is
only until
my first marriage
ended up being just another forgettable blip
on the ever mounting scales of the divorce statistic
charts
that was when that quaint little article I once so long ago
read about A FEELING CALLED ENVY
became a monster in my psyche
sentencing me to a grueling 3 1/2 years of deep emotional
transformation and pain
that in many a manner and term
still reverberates through my life today
even here
in the arms of a much happier healthier more loving
second marriage
so YES SIR
I now in DEED sir
do know ENVY
quite intimately in fact
I ENVY those who have never had to endure
such systematic destruction of one's fragile framework
of self worth and trust
such deep rooted emotional burglary
can never fully be returned to that of its former
uncontaminated state
the hell of divorce
is an on going haunting
that one can not exit from
truly unscathed
for the deepest most penetrating scars
are those that are unseen
and it's those that still linger on
and ever remain...........
Jan.15,2003(9pm)
