The feeling of betrayal
running through my veins
I’ve been upset before,
but this is a shattering pain
I get sick to my stomach
when I think about that night
Everything I did so wrong,
and nothing I did right
I cry if I think too much
about the mess I made
There is nothing I wouldn’t do
to take back that day
I’ve felt the horrible pain
of being betrayed by someone else
But it’s nothing compared to the feeling
when you betray yourself
Who am I now?
Who was I then?
I can’t stop thinking
of what could’ve been
I know I can’t be like this
I know I must accept it
But I’m lost now and can’t imagine
how to forgive and forget
Probably because I never will
forget my choices that night
I’ll forever be thankful
to whomever kept me alive
The one who saved me
from what could’ve been
And who will let me go on living
trying to do the best I can
What I did is not all I am
this I must remember
But no matter what I do
this scar will hurt forever
Fall 2003