i don't understand this...
i'm soo confused in life about this...
i'm not this kind of "bad guy"...
i did what i thought was right...
and it killed me inside to do it...
i know what its like
to like someone and then it ends
and they move on...
i know how that hurts so much...
and you hate that person for what they did to you...
made you feel that pain...
it was going so well...
i know it was...
but...
i couldn't do it anymore...
i thought to myself over and over again...
but i had to do it...
and i'm the "bad guy"
cause it was so good...
and it didn't make any sense how feelings just go away...
and i went into a relationship
right after...
because that person made me happy...
made me feel like i didn't have to chnage who i was...
i see her and i get this feeling in my chest...
every time i see her...
like butterflies...
yes...
butterflies...
i don't understand why i have to feel like this "bad guy"
when i'm doing something right for myself...
i could have stayed in that relationship...
and waited till you were done with me...
just so you would be happy...
but would you like that...?
for me to pretend to be happy...
just so you could use me till you were done with me...
and maybe fall in love with me...
and it could last however long...
because i wouldn't have cared anymore...
it would be all fine and dandy...
and maybe we would have never fought...
and it would be good...
i think i gave up...
because something was telling me
we would just fight again...
and that this other person is someone i should be with...
cause i'm with her...
and i feel like the greatest person in the world...
i feel like what i did was the right thing to do...
i don't understand why i should feel bad...
because i was only making myself happy...
but i guess that really doesn't matter anymore...
i never wanted to hurt you...
i really wanted to be your friend...
but i know that will never happen...
and i'm fine with that now...
because i don't care anymore...
and i'll be out of your life
like i was never there...
like what happened between the two of us
for those three months never happened...
but i wont take that ring off...
only because i never want to forget the day i got it...
one of the best days of my life...
it will be a reminder of what we had...
and of what was lost...
i'm done feeling like the "bad guy"
i'm done hiding what i have...
i'm done with just everything...
and this is not something for people to say shit to me...
this is me getting out what i need to get out...
so i don't need to explain myself...
or who ever wants to read...
go for it...
i'm just done...
thats all i wanted to say...