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As I stood in the waters

shallow as ever

I didn't feel the same,

I didn't feel any better.

Afraid to dive

I only felt alive

Because that's all I was.

Watching the sunset

It wasn't even that beautiful.

Shallow 

as the water at my feet.

 I knew I could jump,

I knew what this could mean.

Fear...

I felt as deep as the sallow waters

and when I got waist deep

I realized

I've wasted me.

Ready for the plunge,

holding my breath

five

four

three

two

one.

Jump.

I've never been so scared.

I've never been the one to hesitate for excitement.

Is this who I've become?

As shallow as the top of the ocean that I see.

Back on land

drowning

in self pity.