As I stood in the waters
shallow as ever
I didn't feel the same,
I didn't feel any better.
Afraid to dive
I only felt alive
Because that's all I was.
Watching the sunset
It wasn't even that beautiful.
Shallow
as the water at my feet.
I knew I could jump,
I knew what this could mean.
Fear...
I felt as deep as the sallow waters
and when I got waist deep
I realized
I've wasted me.
Ready for the plunge,
holding my breath
five
four
three
two
one.
Jump.
I've never been so scared.
I've never been the one to hesitate for excitement.
Is this who I've become?
As shallow as the top of the ocean that I see.
Back on land
drowning
in self pity.