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For No One But For Herself
Raquel had bought a new pair of shoes, several dresses and a perfume to maybe feel a little different from before. She had tried several hairstyles and even changing her peers, too.
It was the daily routine that made her sick, the same old demons following her thoughts.
She had a feeling that each week would be different, but deep inside she was always trapped in that world of hers.
Raquel wished she could start living, but what even was the definition of living?
When will this end? For appearing weak to others was her true biggest weakness.
Raquel wished for a second she could take her mother´s place, the IV lines decorating her hands, not worrying about a bad hair day from all the therapies before.
Was it really a bad week? or maybe a year? What about just a bad life?
It was a cold day when Raquel decided to visit this delicate woman, for she had been constantly on her mind.
“Mom, I saw you in my dreams. You seemed to be asking for a second chance.”
“Don´t take life for granted, as for my thoughts where once my own enemy too. Boys do cry, flowers die, friends are lost and the list goes on with or without you. You need to start living for yourself not waiting for a better tomorrow.” Her mother delicately answered.
As Raquel walked out of the hospital, she realized how much people desire to live but sometimes don´t have the same chance as she did. Children working, fathers living far from home.
For a moment she understood she had been living life blinded by the negative thoughts, feeding herself from the promises others forgot to seize.
She had to look at life twice, to not miss the details from all it´s mysterious ways of working, to stop being so hard with herself, to borrow herself to life.
It was never the dresses, nor it was never her address. Suddenly you´re 56 and life has gone through and you realize that life is what passes while you wait for something better, wishing for something that would stop the incessant waiting.
It was not loneliness, nor sadness; it was a moment of realization for she had been living all this time.
This story was written by Melani Treviño
