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“The one”
There you are, awake near midnight. You look at your watch, two hours and a half left. You look at your to-do list and realize that you have not completed anything, not even a quarter of your responsibilities. You do not know what to do. You decide to go out and take a little walk. As you wander through your neighborhood, you start to think about the decisions you have made lately, specially “the one”. “The one” was unplanned but happened because of your feelings, you wanted it and it seemed funny and inoffensive in that moment. After that day, you liked “the one” and started doing it more and more, every time closer to the other. “The one” never really caused you problems, you thought it helped you get some rest, in that way you could be more productive, but it did not: instead of that, it made you lazier, careless.
You feel angry with yourself, had it not been because of “The one” you would not be in the situation you are right now: stressed, lost and with a ton of deadlines about to expire on your shoulders. Then you start to think about all the work you have to do, truth to be told, it was not that hard, but required time to be done. Again, you feel angry with yourself and think that you cannot change your life, that decisions were made and they conducted you to be in the place you are right now.
You start to regret everything; your youth and inexperience had lead you to this moment. You do not want to think anymore, and walk faster, angrier, not caring about your surroundings. Suddenly, you hear a horn near you, as you turn, you see a car approaching with great velocity, you close your eyes, and do nothing, as if you wanted this to happen, ready for the worst, but you feel nothing, you open your eyes to discover that it is daytime. You look at your watch and discover that time has receded and you now live in the day after “the one” was made.
You are lost in the situation, you look at your deadlines and realize you still have some time, maybe “The one” was not that bad. You grab your pencil and start solving derivatives. Suddenly midnight arrives again and you have only solved one problem. You get stressed thinking that you will not finish your tasks. Instead of facing the situation, you decide to get to the tenth floor of your apartment building, maybe there is a way to get rid of all this stress. You are in the tenth floor, you get close the edge and suddenly, you are approaching Earth while feeling the air move through your body. You decide to open your eyes, and there you are again, 2 hours and a half before midnight and with many deadlines to face.
You try to finish your tasks but the “The one” always interferes. You decide to escape the situation again, also the next day and the one after that one, but for some strange reason you always wake up some hours before midnight and with many assignments to do. After getting more stressed for living the situation than for actually solving it, you decide to do nothing. No doing homework, no eating, no escaping, no anything. You go to sleep and wake up the next day to go to school. You walk on the hallways where many students are chatting, all happy and relaxed; you cannot hear anything, you feel observed, but you are not. You enter the classroom and when the teacher asks for the homework, you simply stay quiet, and look at him with a contempt face and you repeat that, again and again for every subject, in every classroom, for math, for literature, for chemistry, and for physics. When the day finishes and you go home, you realize there is no more stress, and you can continue doing “The one”. You think and realize that sometimes the best way to escape the situation is facing the situation.
