I don't know how to say it.
Yet I sit here writing this.
I watch others enjoy the pleasantries,
the embraces, however short,
and not really much more than
a "hi" or "bye".
But it's still there.
I feel like when it does happen
to me,
it's forced.
Like it's done to the whole group,
then there's that awkward second,
and it's like "what the hell, might as well."
Maybe it's not a big deal to a lot fo people,
but then there's me.
Who sees it shown to everyone around,
yet I am left wanting even that short second
of thought.
Pleasantries have disappeared,
I haven't had much to hope for otherwise.
Maybe others will miss it when it's not done
to them anymore.
Maybe they will feel like I do most of the time,
left out.