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I hate surprises. They make me miserable every time.

All these people lying to me and saying it’s for my own good.

Secrets need to be kept if there’s no harm.

I disagree with them.  And I want to know before I’m ambushed

What the hell is going on?

I’ll tell you everything you ever wanted to know.

If I don’t know I’ll tell you.

No sense making up bull shit that I won’t remember later.

Why bother to lie when I get caught every time?



I hate surprises.  Just tell me now.

No need for disguises.  No little white lies apply.

If there’s a party let me know.

I hate surprises. Just tell me before I cry.



I hate surprises.  It runs in my family.

I can’t keep a secret to save my life.

If I buy you a present I can’t wait to give it to you.

I’m addicted to the look of joy you give when you open it.

I know it’s not normal. I don’t care.

It’s who I am and what I do.

Forget the stories and the compromises.

Please make me this one promise no surprises.



I hate surprises.  Don’t jump out at me.

I startle easily.  Don’t yell at me.

My hearing is fine.  Go bother someone else next time.

I know it’s supposed to be fun.

I know it’s done with good intentions.

But every time I greet surprises with suspicions

I walk around thinking whose hiding what

And who should be telling me something their not



I hate surprises. Just tell me before I cry.