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Lost and Found
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Feel To Heal LOST AND FOUND
We see them in many areas. “Lost and found spaces”, In cubbies, totes, drawers, hearts, souls, minds.
For over 50 years I have been that person. Been involved in religion and church pretty much my whole life. I knew when to open doors, clean, start services, pray, sing, make phone calls, send mail, coordinate things with leadership. How to look, talk, act. Knowing that I didn’t fit in yet did everything I was told to.
I knew when systems and environments needed fixed to say something and did several times and by doing so I lost nearly everything.
*Losing people I thought were close, loved and cared about me only to find out that I didn’t matter, because I set boundaries and stopped allowing access and people pleasing.
*Losing years, schedules, time, I can’t get back.
*Losing family who refuse to talk to me because I left the church that the family of my mother’s side is part of a legacy of in the black community.
*Losing my peace and nearly walking away from God because I kept being told by certain ones what I wasn't and who I wasn't how I wasn’t. Yet when needed I was there.
IN LOSING ALL THAT AND MORE…
I FOUND GOD!!!!
I FOUND GOD…
When he reminded me of my identity that he loves me. He died for me. I AM A CHILD OF GOD. I AM REDEEEMED. I AM FORGIVEN.
I FOUND GOD…
When he said I know it hurts and I will take you through the pain, brokenness, wounds, healing, so that you can help others to heal.
I FOUND GOD…
When I walked through the doors very cautiously and timidly , the first words I heard was “ Welcome Back Home, We missed you”. That was a prodigal moment for me, yet for yall it was just the love of Christ shown through you.
Yall have shown me God not just this past Sunday, through the years, from phone calls, random run ins at the different stores in town and showing me and my daughter love. Messages on facebook, even when my sister passed away a little over 2 years ago, part of this body of believers was at her service with me and my daughter holding my hand in another town here in Kansas as I mourned my older sister, confidant and best friend.
I was lost in religion, training, protocols, misaligned loyalties, which led me down a bad road of carrying things I never should have had to carry, unhappiness, health issues.
Only to be FOUND by GOD…
Peace in my home, joy in my heart, health doing better, losing weight faster.
Here’s the difference, I have a knowing. I still pray, sing, worship God, care for people, however it’s different when you personally know. I know Jesus died for me. Me, who wears tennis shoes with skirts and dresses, me the non politically correct person, me the used to be a karaoke diva, me the one who probably smells like a dog because I own a husky shepherd mix, me the U S Army Veteran, single mom, former #churchorphan.
Now someone that God, our savior Jesus has FOUND.
