PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Since a young age I have been that person…

The one who remembers the birthdays, helps set up for events, brings extra things just in case something is needed or forgotten, takes care of the little details that others didn't see or bother to, was the counselor,  cook, teacher, bank, friend, prayer warrior,  soldier. Stood up for people in relationships, work environments and real life that I knew in my heart didn't like me. Some recently have come out and blatantly said they don't like me but have to work with me anyway because of the purpose in our lives. 

I'm the person who even though you don't say it in a meeting or conversation I can tell when something is wrong and will communicate with you privately afterwards.  ( even though some deny it then later say, however did she know).

The person who gets the call of I need you and drops nearly everything because I remember what it was like when no one was there for me. I'm to the point where the words I need you bring up anger because people now choose to use it as a form of manipulation. The same people who aren't there for me. I need you for this, that and the other. I said it before. I am what the Bible says the least of these. When I was junior enlisted, my leaders would say I blended in yet made sure things were taken care of. My ex fiance said that I was an NCO before I was an NCO because I took care of people.  

My arms hurt…I am not comfortable stretching anymore. I accepted my calling by God. Accepted the mantle passed down from my mother. I'm told to stay in my lane. I'm told don't do what you're doing, it upsets people. Then people ask me why I stopped. It inspired them and made their day each and every day. 

It's bad that even the very few people who do give me support.  Who actually cares, knows and loves me. I cry when they are there for me because I'm not used to it without someone having an agenda. 

I can't post publicly anywhere. I can't be me anywhere.  My arms hurt.