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Not Again
I’ve let myself get drawn in again.
I want so much to be your lover AND your friend.
In a time of need you’re able to lean on me
but is a pillar of strength all that you see
when you look in my eyes, glance my way.
Is there anything between us that is different today?
The fact of the matter is I still love you.
I can’t say the words, but you know it is true.
I’ve wanted to whisper terms of affection
but I think I’m just spiraling in the wrong direction.
My heart screams out with you is where I should be
but I still do not know what you want from me.
So I sit, and I wait. I continue to feel
that a deeper connection between us is real.
But you cannot trust, have no faith, have such doubt
and though it hurts, I do not think I can live without
some kind of reciprocation of the things that I say.
I worry that we’re approaching that final day.
It’s the day I’ve been dreading – the day of goodbye.
I don’t understand all your reasons why
we should not, can not, will not be together.
I want to ask again, but I’ve learned that it is better
to just move along, keep quiet, let you go.
Can I love again? I simply do not know.
