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Stolen Innocence

For those of you who have never experienced this, I truly feel sorry for you. But for those of you who have, do you ever miss it? That pure love that only an innocent can know. That feeling of absolute assuridy that the two of you would be together forever. That nothing would ever break you apart?

Don't you miss not having to wonder if you are loved back, but knowing without a doubt that it was the real thing? And nothing anyone could say, not your parents or friends or teachers, would make you believe it was just lust or infatuation.

Do you remember feeling like that person was your whole world, and if you didn't see them again, you would surely just die. And every time you were seperated, if only for a few class periods, it felt like torture?

Do you ever wish you could go back? Before the end of that first pure love changed you and became a constant reminder in the back of your mind that life is not fair? Before life got complicated? Before the responsibilites of life got in the way of loving with your whole heart? Before you became cynical and untrusting?

Now, as adults, we must worry and fret over whether or not to show our true feelings. That innocent love was somehow ruined or taken from us, and now we remember the pain so vividly that we hold back from loving like that ever again. We are afraid. Afraid to get hurt. Afraid to be wrong again. Afraid of loving and then finding out it was just another mistake. That that person was not the 'one'. I mean, we were wrong once, right?

And as adults, we must also now follow this unwritten rule of relationships. There are unspecified timeframes that we have to follow before we can utter those three words, or before we should share our bodies with each other.

Ah, I miss that too. Sharing your body with someone. Now its just sex. Its just a physical fullfillment of emotions that we can't seem to express. Gone are the days where waiting meant knowing you were 'in love' and ready to 'give' your partner that special gift.

But just once, I would like to experience that again. Love without restrictions or worries or complications or regrets or fears or anything else that holds us back from jumping in head first and throwing all caution to the wind. I want to let love consume me and become my whole world again. Let that fire take over and have everything burn away except for the two of us. I want that conviction again that its the real thing and will last forever.

But we know better now. The world has shown us a harsh reality and we are no longer free to believe in silly notions like eternity and true love. No longer free to hold nothing back and give of ourselves completely. We must face the real world and just take what we can get. Enjoy what little affection we can find and try to make it last as long as we can.

But still, there is that little flicker of hope. That childish dream that you'll find that love again, or for the first time if you've never felt it before. That hope and dream and wish that it's still out there, somewhere in the world, waiting for you to find it.