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When You're Used to Being Alone
WHEN YOU'RE USED TO BEING ALONE
When you're used to being alone things don't hurt as much.
You don't miss tender things, such as a caressing touch.
Intimate feelings seems to leave as a void grows in you.
An emptiness that grows with everything you do.
You get used to being alone on every holiday.
You get used to not having someone there to guide your way.
At first it hurts inside.
The painful sting as tears come to your eyes.
The wanting for someone special.
The want to connect with someone who's intellectual.
As time goes on,
you get used to feelings being gone.
You get used to dealing with everything by yourself,
so people don't understand what you've dealt with or felt.
You think, "how could they know?" How do you make them understand,
that you don't make yourself vulnerable, because people often have unknown plans.
When you're used to being alone things don't seem so bad.
Yeah, it gets lonely and sad when you think of the life you once had.
So when it been a long time and by yourself, you walk on the beach in the sand.
That's when you wish you had someone there to hold your hand.
But through the years, your emotions where controlled by fear.
Fears of having emotions for another;
Feelings so deep for a special lover.
You've built a wall that won't fade away.
You've concealed your feelings so no one will stay.
When you're used to being alone you push everyone from your heart.
You push them away because you don't want to feel those parts.
The part of life that cares.
The part of knowing that they could be gone just as simply as they are there.
When you're used to being alone you don't look for a hand to hold.
You don't look to be consoled, because you're used to being in control.
You don't let your true feelings show,
even when you want to scream and let everything else go.
You still manage to keep your composure.
You do it even better as more time goes on and you get older.
You avoid emotions that can cause you to hurt
but that emptiness in you is what causes you to continuously flirt.
Subconsciously you don't mean for people to get attached,
so you push them away but they seem to always come back.
They love your personality but still they can't see,
that the love you have, you don't let it grow because it makes you weak;
But the love they have for you is openly shown,
but they never get the point that you're used to being alone.
By:Twylla Medina
