The Bridge

 

Metallic

Tasting like copper

It’s pressed hard against

The roof of my mouth

Enough to cut it open

Just a little

I don’t feel pain

I feel nothing but

The smooth curve

The sensitive trigger

I can sense

The bullet

Marked

With my name

My index finger

Is ready

I hear someone knocking

On the door

Outside the bathroom

I bite my tongue

I take a deep breath

I look in the mirror

I squeeze my hand

And pull my finger back

The smooth cock

And release of the gun

A small explosion

The bullet twists

In the curved chamber

It comes firing out

Tearing through my jaw

Up past my nose

In between my eyes

It hits the nerves

That fill my brain

It cracks open

The top of my skull

The bone

The flesh

The skin

Burst out

Like fireworks

On the fourth of July

Blood paints the walls

Red

Dark red

A red that

Reminds me of poppies

In the spring

My nerves give out

I am bridging

The gap between

Life and Death

The door opens

A silent scream

My hand falls to my side

The pistol bangs against the floor

Smoke rises from my head

Just as it does

From the tip of the barrel

I see a shape

My mother

Oh my poor mother

Your pills didn’t work

The first time

The rope

Wasn’t tied right

The second time

Dad’s gun

Should have done it

The third time

But I can see

I can feel

Why

I don’t want to

And then it hits me

Harder than the bullet

Passing through my skull

I can’t believe it

 

I missed again

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