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The Bridge
Metallic
Tasting like copper
It’s pressed hard against
The roof of my mouth
Enough to cut it open
Just a little
I don’t feel pain
I feel nothing but
The smooth curve
The sensitive trigger
I can sense
The bullet
Marked
With my name
My index finger
Is ready
I hear someone knocking
On the door
Outside the bathroom
I bite my tongue
I take a deep breath
I look in the mirror
I squeeze my hand
And pull my finger back
The smooth cock
And release of the gun
A small explosion
The bullet twists
In the curved chamber
It comes firing out
Tearing through my jaw
Up past my nose
In between my eyes
It hits the nerves
That fill my brain
It cracks open
The top of my skull
The bone
The flesh
The skin
Burst out
Like fireworks
On the fourth of July
Blood paints the walls
Red
Dark red
A red that
Reminds me of poppies
In the spring
My nerves give out
I am bridging
The gap between
Life and Death
The door opens
A silent scream
My hand falls to my side
The pistol bangs against the floor
Smoke rises from my head
Just as it does
From the tip of the barrel
I see a shape
My mother
Oh my poor mother
Your pills didn’t work
The first time
The rope
Wasn’t tied right
The second time
Dad’s gun
Should have done it
The third time
But I can see
I can feel
Why
I don’t want to
And then it hits me
Harder than the bullet
Passing through my skull
I can’t believe it
I missed again
