changes

swathed in the comfy smell of tobacco

(when did this smell become the smell of a man?)

i sit down

almost midnight

to join kafka in dystopia



i love my life

every aching corner of it

paint stained hands fixed permanently with pen and

camel seeping into clothes

checkin out kids outside the library

almost midnight

in berkeley rivers raining from sky



today

kafka

perched on the edge of oblivion

(do i still want to die?)

i listen to boy talk about last nights coke trip

his full lips moving i tune out words to

dream of silence

kafka and your metamorphosis

sweeping my hand to rest over my heart

in awe kafka you

would be my lover kafka you

see right to the heart of me

where speed has no place and i

see the colors of the world on acid

how little our words find each other across

these oceans of distance and

we fail to supply each other sustenance we fight

to find our place in a world assigned to us

like homework kafka

baby

i make love to you slower

softer

agonizing over each letter

on this page

10 in total

due tomorrow i read you i know you

are dead im almost glad

because your eyes uncanny unglaze me

you brilliant

jaded

upset

disconnected

from everyone

sick

sorrow

spewing words



i want to be your hunger artist

hemingway was nothing but cigarettes scotch and rifles kafka

i will starve myself for you

i will cage myself from addictions i will

shut out the noise of the world

i listen to you while everyone else is sleeping

and you backlight my eyes will teal

its almost midnight

i will not sleep till dawn

because i will be listening to you

shutting out the noise of boys and paint and hunger

to write you a love story

this poem

10 pages devoted

to your words the memory

of your life

so much

i feel sometimes

like mine










Author's Notes/Comments: 

whoa this poem went in a different direction than i began with

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