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HGTV
There’s a staggering statistic...I’m sure you’ve heard of it, of course
That nearly half of every married couple will end up in divorce.
I have a theory and no, it’s not the changing ethos that we see
I believe the answer can be found on your HGTV.
For years men were content with their lot..to fix things with duct tape
Until HGTV came along we never heard the word roomscape.
If you ask most husbands to make house changes they’d rather sell ‘em first
(Yes we’re the men who wear the same pants twice...hey at least we smell ‘em first!)
There’s nothing scarier than watching football in my comfy little space
When Deborah enters with that strange HGTV look upon her face.
“Honey, you know what will make this room look better...it needs a different paint.”
You, of course, think the room looks fine..so you try to show restraint.
“I like this color you say before she sends you off to Sears
It’s cozy and it’s comfortable, and it’s lasted 20 years.”
Then her look intensifies and she wonders aloud why you can’t be
As handsome and as handy as those men on HGTV.
So to save your marriage you head off to Sears or Home Depot or Lowe’s
All the while cursing HGTV for adding to your woes.
But that is not the end...your troubles are only about to begin
When she says, “Did you know Lowe’s will match any paint color we bring in?”
So the rest of your married life (if you stay married) you lament
When she turns off the TV and says, “Did you know we can also paint cement?”
Or after you’ve spent the weekend on a ladder or hands and knees
She looks around and announces, “This color is darker than I thought it’d be.”
Or you sit down after painting and all your light fixtures are reattached
And she says, “You know with this new paint now our furniture doesn’t match.”
So husbands a little advice..to your marriage add some fun...
The next time your wife says the kitchen or bathroom needs redone
I suggest you take that duct tape and yes you know what to do...
By the way did you know duct tape comes in different colors too?
