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Defenseless
I can feel it shatter; I can feel it break.
I don't know how much more I can take.
I am defenseless; I am weak.
I don't want you to see me; I don't want to speak.
I feel the darkness in my eyes; I drown in these tears.
I have put up with my own stupidity for one too many years.
I want to end it; I want to silence my heart's steady beat.
I'm tired of everything I feel and how it makes me weak.
I am to blame for running back to you; I kissed your inviting lips.
I torture myself in your absence...I can't take much more of this.
I pray for a world without the liar who claimed to be my best friend.
I pray for this knife in my chest to pull out my heart and never let me feel again.
I want nothing but a black hole. For once, I want to watch you cry.
When you feel my pain only then can you say you can read my eyes.
If you want to look inside, ask me, and I'll hand u the knives that dig into my flesh.
While you scream out in agony, tell me how beautiful you are and how much you are blessed.
Tell me when you want to surrender and i'll hold you near.
Run your fingers through my hair; I want you to feel my tears.
I want no one to see why I'm hurting but i'm dying to let you know.
When I say surrender I mean Actually let your TRUE feelings for me show.
Maybe you were lying, after all, you told me to erase everything I feel.
It's haunted me all night but maybe what you said was real.
You said you could live with your feelings but you want me to forget for my sake.
You act as if it's easy for me...gee its just gonna make my heart break.
Of course, I know what will happen, we'll be "buds" as you say.
But these feelings we push aside will get in the way.
I kiss you, you kiss me...such a fun game.
Then you will end it all and i'll leave myself to blame.
Don't worry about my heart, it will mend just as the scar you cut will heal.
I will one day get my wish and I won't be able to feel.
