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Looking Back at Myself
My green eyes still hold pain.
My chest is still caving in.
I realize im not the same...
little girl i was back then.
You could've found me in my "lair"
singing into the microphone...
or fixing my hair..
so i could go to roller zone.
You could've found me outside,
skipping rocks in the creek..
or taking my horses for a ride..
and THAT made me unique.
When a test came, I was ready.
I learned every lesson well.
My gaze was strong and steady...
and never did I fail.
Daniel held me in his heart.
I held him far away.
Everytime, I played it smart.
Never did I stay.
My mom called me dee dee.
Keith called me little girl.
Nobody had anything on me..
for I had the world.
With Aaron I would laugh and run.
We'd build forts in the hay.
We'd pretend keith was the enemy for fun..
we'd shoot darts at him in play.
My heart was complete and my smile was real.
I had nobody to take it away.
I was a kid and didnt have to feel
this knife digging into me everyday.
I had fourwheelers, horses, even a mule.
I had a stepdad and family who cared.
I took advantage of this like a fool.
Now, I wish i were still there.
The farm still brings me peace,
but I look at it through a different set of eyes.
They are now a weaker shade of green...
they've faded from the tears I've cried.
Looking into the golden sunset, a teardrop falls..
as yet another memory comes to mind.
Everyone has something that breaks down their walls...
My old self happens to be mine.
