Author Information
To Donna
Im lost when I look in the mirror at this face of chalk white and desperation.
My eyes no longer reflect beauty...
but are colorless and seeking answers.
There is a trail of mascara that runs...
from my eyelashes to my lips.
I taste deceit.
The hair that once fell past my shoulders in gold...
now barely touches my chin in reddish brown streaks.
It is dead from all of the chemicals I used to attempt to change myself.
My lips..which once strained a smile through my sadness...
no longer carry that strength.
They are as cold as my hands, which hold the blade...
all because no one is there to bring them warmth.
My heart...which once carried hope...
now carries my painful memories that wont leave me alone.
It is no longer a blessing to care for others...
but instead, a burden.
As I step back from the mirror, a tear falls...
as I recall the promises she made me.
My stepmother held me close and promised me safety...
but behind her back,
she held a knife.
All I wanted was a family...
all that i received was a shattered picture of what i'll never have.
Donna taught me the joys of life...
but she forced me to feel the heartache.
She left me with my father...
whom she stabbed in the heart...
with the same knife she used...
to cut into my back.
Unsure what to do, I'm still standing...
and im watching my father go crazy as I am simply helpless.
Eventually...
the scars on my arm will fade just as I have over the years.
But...
even when they're gone, I'll hold that shattered memory to my heart....
and feel the warm blood drip into my lungs.
You wont be there to stop me from inhaling...
You're unforgotten laughter will coax me to end it all...
and maybe i'll forgive you.
But...
I know that my heart never will.
