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My memories are evaporating into thin air.

I wasn't always this empty inside.

I'm forgetting everything and I'm well aware.

I don't want to be like my father and always hide.



I smile when I see myself long ago...

Straight A's and obsessed with Billy Ray.

I wanted nothing more than to grow.

But..I guess my heart got in the way.



See, life was once so easy.

I had a mom and I had a dad.

They'd hug me tight and squeeze me.

It represented love not just some fad.



I'd pass dad tools in the garage while on the floor.

I'd admire everything he was.

Mom yelled all the time and Dad couldn't take anymore.

So he walked out on both of us.



Mom was happy that he had left.

She bought me love to ease my pain.

I'd cry and cry while she claimed being with her was best.

She told me Dad was all to blame.



I wish I could remember more.

But...after the wedding it's all a blur.

Dad just stopped calling unlike before....

and...I...I couldn't take anymore.



I remember Keith, Norm, and Clay...

I remember Carlos and Carl too.

I remember Steve, like it matters anyway.

I hated all of them and still do.



"We won't be like your dad...

We won't run away."

These lies are oh so sad...

because they left me anyway.



I'm left with many bad times,

that I wish I could erase.

Sometimes I get them out of my mind,

but they reappear when my Mom and I are face to face.



It's hard for me to believe,

that  the person I loved more than anything in the world,

could just pick up and leave...

his disheartened little girl.



Sure, I have him back today.

But..thats only because I left her side.

My heart tells me I have to stay...

but, I wish I could just fly.



Fly far away from this madness,

all this anger and distress.

I'm tired of this overwhelming sadness.

Everything is just a huge mess.



My mother doesn't own me.

I've lost count of how many times she's tried.

I'm not a piece of worthless property.

She said I meant the world but she lied.



All my good memories are shielded,

being drowned out by the bad.

Its too late..I guess i've yielded,

to my heart thats raging mad.



I hate my mother for what shes done.

As long as I was hers, she didnt care.

Her selfishness eliminated his only son.

She blames him for not being there.



I hate that boy because he loved me.

I hate him because he cared too much.

I hate the fact hes gone which I knew he would be.

I hate the fact I gave him my trust.



I hate my father for that empty space,

that he left inside my childhood years.

I tried to make those men take his place.

All that resulted in was my tears.



I hate how I had it so good,

and took advantage of it everyday.

You'll leave me as soon just like you should.

I'm stupid to believe you'll stay.