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I Dont Want To Be Me
I can’t keep myself from the blame game. Keep hearing everyone whispering my name. The noise is louder than my screams. Trying to reach you, please. Here I am naked and barely breathing. Can you just try to see me??
So hard to stay away from the negative. And I’ve ran out of pieces of me I can give. People saying that I need to live. For my kids. For my husband. You don’t get how hard it’s been. To pick myself up and smile again.
Someone is whispering, “She’s a whore”. Could that be him knocking at my door? I am more broken than I’ve ever been before. I just can’t take anymore. Don’t pretend that you need me when you only want more.
The darkness wraps around me. His hands are on my body. But I can’t see anything. Something in me screaming. Let me out of here I’m bleeding. Everyone around me glaring, laughing, cuz I deserve this, I was asking.
Please, if no one can see me why am I here??? I’m running out of reasons to care.
If I am what you say then why should I stay? Can I make it another day?
Looking at my reflection. All I see are imperfections.
No I don’t want to be me.
I don’t want to be me.
His hands are on my body.
I don’t want to see.
Please just leave me be.
I don’t want to be me.
Just close the door.
Leave like everyone else before.
I don’t want to be me.
Anymore.
