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I went to my closet today

Hoping your smell would be there;

That smell

That always seemed

To make us smile

When we danced.

I was hoping that maybe

That smell

Rubbed off on my sweater

But it didnt.



I went to my mirror today

Hoping your eyes would be there;

Your eyes

That are like golden oceans

Whose waves are lit

By the sun

Of your spirit.

And I was hoping that perhaps

Those eyes were behind that mirror,

But they werent.



I went to my phone today

Hoping your voice would be there

That voice that sounds like music

From your favorite band

And no matter what

Wouild cheer you up.

The voice that whispered,

That cried;

And that voice

Wasnt there.



And I went to my heart today

Hoping your love would be there

The love I feel when I look at you,

When I used to hold your hand

At football games

In freezing weather

Yelling at the players

To score

And to win;

And we were so close

I could hear you think;

And we would wait until the last point

To go home

So we could stay there

Under the stars

As long as possible.



And I looked so hard

Inside my heart,

In all the holes

And all the cracks.

And finally

In a box,

locked

with a hidden key

was your love.

A love that

Is screaming

To get out.



Justine Zingg

2003