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Her reflection
The night is young and nobody is here, just me and her surrounded by four walls. Time is passing and I still cannot understand where I am, let alone where I am going. I know that I must accept the consequences of my actions, I am not sure why because I only did what the world told me I should do. At this point I know that I would do anything to fix this, because now I know that the costs of my dreams A.K.A you would be you. This nightmare is now my reality and it is enabling him to take whatever he wants until he gets what he desire. My inner demon is screaming at me “Take her now”, he says that this is my only chance, that I will not get another one, he asks me not to let him down.
I see her in the room with me, and I am tempted to take her. “Why won’t you let me in? Just let me in.”
I am sure we will forget this awkward phase that we are stuck in, if she could only accept me and forever be by my side. “Remember when I said every day is a new sunrise?” I notice the fear on her hazel eyes. Am I the cause of such terror in her? “Please let’s just act pretend that this never happened.” I am her arcane guardian but she will not let me in.
I hear him, he says that I should stop whining, that I should just roll the dice and take a chance. I look at her eyes again, “Do not let me down, if I cannot have you I will never be found.” She still has not said a single word, I am sure it will kill me if she leaves me, but this will not happen because I will never give up.
“Baby do not scream!” Those words came out of my mouth but I did not say them. “You are not alone, my arms are your new home.” I keep on waiting for an answer that won’t come. “Baby don’t scream.” I say willingly this time, “You know I did all this for you and me.” I know that that is not true, I did this all for me, but I can still see our love caught on her eyes.
As soon as I turn around she pushes me down to the floor and starts running, but I will not resign and never back down, I cannot live my life caught in a lie. There is no escape from this place, she cannot run, paralyzed in authentic fear and with her back against the wall. I ask her one last time “Why won’t you let me in?”
Everything goes red, the sun I shining through the window and besides me lays the only women I ever loved, I look at the mirror and I see a heartless monster not a man. What have I turned into? I ask myself and I hear him again, I see her reflection behind me on the mirror and she says “You have always been like this”.
