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The Darkness I Didn't Invite
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Depression Sometimes the darkness isn't mine,
Yet somehow it invades my mind.
A picture, a story, a moment of pain,
And suddenly I'm not quite the same.
I carry emotions I cannot explain,
A silent storm without the rain.
Something I saw gets trapped in my head,
And slowly my desire to connect feels dead.
I don't know why it affects me so deep,
Or why these feelings begin to creep.
I try to shake them, to let them go,
But something inside me whispers no.
Then comes the distance, quiet and slow,
A part of myself I no longer know.
I stop reaching out, I begin to withdraw,
Without understanding the change at all.
It's not that I hate you or want you away,
I just can't find the right words to say.
I don't know what I'm feeling or why I feel numb,
I only know there's a darkness I've become.
And maybe the hardest part of it all
Is watching myself emotionally fall.
No screaming, no breaking, no visible pain,
Just losing myself inside my own brain.
I didn't ask to feel somebody else's sorrow.
I didn't ask for it to steal my tomorrow.
Yet here I am, retreating again,
Trying to understand what's happening within.
I wish I could explain why I need to hide,
Why the world feels too heavy outside.
But how do I describe a feeling unknown,
When even surrounded, I feel alone?
So please understand when I disappear,
It isn't rejection, resentment, or fear.
Sometimes the sadness I witness stays,
And quietly pulls pieces of me away.
I'm not running from the people I love.
I'm trying to escape what's happening in my head.
And sometimes
the only way I know how to cope
is to become distant instead.
