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Letters
If one day I’m not here
If one day I’m not here to brush the hair off your face, I want you to know that your happiness was all I ever wanted. I prayed for you to be a leader to guide your siblings to the right path because I was going to put everything I had into teaching you how to love Allah. Whenever I would hear your laugh it felt so sweet and so innocent that my heart would squeeze out of sheer love for you. When I would look into your eyes as you would speak to me I wanted to cry from how much I love you. I never knew I could love anyone as much as I love you. All of you. If I’m not here one day to kiss your lips, please don’t forget me. I’ll miss you so much and pray that I’ll be able to hold you again soon. You’re my first light. My first joy. My first hope and breath of fresh air. I pray I can watch all your days as you play, grow up and grow old. I want to die the day before you do because I never want to miss a moment of loving you on this Earth. If I knew how to make you happy every second of every day, I would my sweet boy. My sweet moyo my sweet handsome sunshine boy. I love you so so much.
My tala, my baby joy. Your gorgeous gorgeous eyes are what I love to look into when I brush your hair or tell you stories. They’re so expressive. You have a light inside of you and I never want it to extinguish. I admire your sweet soul and you’re only 2 my baby. The way you love me reminds me of the way I love my mom and I want you to know it’s an honor to feel that someone loves you in that way. Your sweet tiny body in your prayer clothes fills me with pride and I pray your love for Allah Carries you through all your days. I want so badly to hold you forever and give you love and shower you with attention and kisses. You’re my princess I never want to live without you. I want to watch you grow and become your best friend. I pray Allah gives me that opportunity. Every morning seeing your big beautiful smile, I only feel joy. I miss you when you’re not around and look forward to hearing your busy feet approaching me. You are so brave and intentional. So sweet and so expressive. You have such a special soul and I feel lucky you’re my daughter. I hope one day we can be best friends like I was with my mama.
My feisty seemo. You won’t even know me but I want you to know, that from the time you were on my belly, you were feisty. And then you were born. I was so drained after a while and that’s when I found out that my heart wasn’t functioning well. If you don’t see pictures of yourself the way I had with your siblings, it isn’t because I love you less. You are the baby that completed me. It’s only because I didn’t get the chance or the good health to give my energy to the same things. But you’re my little chick. My adorable crazy girl. Don’t let anyone ever change you. I know you will be just fine. I can see it in your character even from now. I love you my sweet seemo my crazy girl who never lets me sleep.
Every Sunday, check postsecrets and remember me until we meet again.
