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Two Devils on Horseback
Two devils on horse back riding through my mind with tongues in cheek
Tearing at my manhood searing through my consciousness
Do I deserve this pain? Partly yes. But I am not the only 1 to blame for this disaster.
My sanity is now in question, I feel that I cannot feel happiness.
Hatred and hurt possess my every waking moment.
Sleep is hard to come by with evil thoughts in my head, of revenge and of those who have hurt me laughing at my pain.
Alone I now lie, whilst the one that I loved for so long has replaced me so easily with someone I trusted.
The searing hot anger at them sharing my marital bed, whilst I live in abject blandness tears me apart the white hot fury burning through my skull.
Loneliness grips me, a feeling I hope that will soon pass for if it doesn’t I surely may cross the line on which I am now delicately balancing.
A fear of the consequences that may occur if I let my feelings flow restrains me.
What can I do now? Persevere, I am better than them, I am stronger them.
I will not take the easy way, I will deal with my burning desire for retribution and to fill the chasm within me.
They will be the ones suffering when I have finally found myself again,
Found my happiness,
Found my joy,
Found me.
Until then I carry on with an ever increasing fake smile on my face.
Lying to friends and family that I’m doing OK and can that my futures bright,
Although in my mind I see nothing but darkness and space left empty by her absence.
Emotions that I have felt before, but not of this magnitude.
Betrayal which is unjust fucks with my mind,
I despise them but have no choice but to lay down my pride under their feet for the sake of my babies, whom are oblivious to their daddies on going torture.
I will do this for them and no one else. Fuck those who have hurt me, fuck those who do not care,
I will carry this pain on broken shoulders so that they will always know the love I have for them.
And I will remain, steadfast and resolute in the face of devils.
Until this pain goes away.
