the last drag

getting off drugs is so easy

when you're not really on them

but everyone thinks you're on them

and those same people think they're gonna save you

 

so i'm on my way to redemption

and i'm hoping to be fogiven

i'm really so fuckin' sorry

but first i'm gonna throw myself the best detox party

 

this is my detox

this is my detox

this is my detox

this is my detox

and i'll cry if i want to 

this is my detox

and i'll get high if i want to

 

this is my detox

don't call it a vacation

i'm gonna detox through retoxification

this is my detox

cuz it's all about me

where is my pillbox?

need a few oxy

 

this is my detox

and i'll cry if i want to 

this is my detox

and i'll get high if i want to

this is my detox

and i'll lie if i want to

 

this is my detox

and i can do it without you

whatever is broken

i can glue it without you

this is my detox

and i'll get high if i want to

this is my detox

 

this is my detox

this is my detox

this is my detox

this is my detox

 

a pool powder party just before i get sick

and then a mandy mitchell brunch and a lithium picnic

a dozen of dommes, a few erotic dancers

don't ask me the questions if you don't want the answers

i already told you that i'm not the one cheating

sex is not the same as an intimate beating

this is my detox

i'll do whatever i want to

this is my detox

this is my detox

this is my detox

this is my detox

 

i feel nothing as i take my last drag

snort the biggest pile

and put my head in a plastic bag

i don't wanna die, i just wanna disappear

 

i thought i was so transparent but clearly i'm so unclear

no one understands me, i doubt they ever will

so i'll stay on the powder, the drink and the pain pill

get my shit in order and sign my last will and testament

with resentment for the past forty and five years

i knew it was over and done for

when they stopped picking up the phone

only your oldest and best friends can make you feel so alone

 

if i wasn't told it so many times

i never would have thought

that it's not really a lie

if you ever get caught

 

i had an addiction from years of affliction

more than occaional minor and major abrasions

dispunktual made up equations

that never made sense to a mathematition

not an adult, an experienced kid on the spectrum

who found a plectrum

and made it a scalpel for cutting his skin like virgin vinyl

posing suicidal

this is my detox

this is what i deserve

this is drilling a hole in the most sensitive nerve

and i don't really want it

but i want how it makes me

love the terrible places it takes me

i love how it breaks me

cuz now i'm only happy when i'm broken

when i'm cokin'

when someone's choking me out

how are you supposed to rehad and rehabilitate

how can you detox from pure uncut hate?

 

this is my detox

this is my detox

this is my detox

this is my detox

i'm through

this is my detox

from you

 

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