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I dont know why
I never saw this coming,
Holding myself against the wall,
Trying to breathe again,
My options are fleeting my life,
Fighting for the wrong things,
Saying only half-truths,
Missing all that I hold dear,
Gripping the shelf behind me,
Trying to pull myself up,
Pulling my headstone along my side,
I carry my grief,
Inside my shattered heart,
My soul screams for realease,
I dont know what's left for me,
I dont know how I came to this path,
Never to look back to my choices,
I hurt much more than I ever show,
Never to talk things through,
Irrational decisions rule my life,
Breaking away,
I break myself,
Never to fight again,
Why must I scream to sleep?
Never again will I be sane,
Holding the rope as I look down,
Jumping for the world to see,
To witness my life, and all that's left behind,
Ripping out the hearts of every last friend,
Killing my family deep inside their beings,
I dont know why I did this,
I dont know why I felt so empty,
I dont knwo why I see these horrible visions,
I dont know why I hurt within my heart,
I dont know why I exist,
I dont know why I live this life of nothingness,
I dont know why I never shared my pain,
I dont know why I never expressed my feelings,
I dont know why I fear myself,
I dont know why I act without a thought,
I dont know why I must push everyone away,
I dont know why I die inside every night,
I dont know why I feel so alone,
I dont know why I must hurt myself to feel alive,
I dont know why I try to understand and reason,
I dont know why I refuse my cure,
I dont know why I bottle up this hatred,
This hatred engulfs my shell,
Trying to protect my vulnerable host,
I paint these words on this paper,
In blood and death,
Sealing my fate for all to see,
So I'm giving up my habit of holding back,
Now I feel my eyes begin to burn,
Crying out of harmony and falling from grace,
Baring my soul for all to see,
The blackened void it has become,
I'll never be the same,
So I leave this world, tonight.
