Author Information
Mr Depends - Sketch. Comedy.
WeBlvNews83
FICTIONAL SATIRE — NOT REAL NEWS
“The Depends Files”: Wild Lawsuit Rocks Social Media in Completely Fictional Parody Story
Written and created by Elliot J Bush
PALM BEACH, FL — In a story so outrageous that even late-night comedians reportedly rejected it for being “too ridiculous,” a fictional character known only as “Mr. Depends” has allegedly filed an imaginary $88 billion lawsuit against former president Donald Trump in a bizarre satirical legal complaint that reads more like a rejected comedy sketch than an actual court document.
According to the entirely fictional parody filing, Mr. Depends claims he was subjected to “extreme hazardous and smelly working conditions” while being confined to a tiny room “roughly the size of a gas station bathroom with worse ventilation.” The absurd complaint further alleges that he was threatened with “fire at dawn” if he attempted to leave his post.
The parody lawsuit reaches peak absurdity when the plaintiff claims Trump would “deliberately activate new Depends under combat-level bathroom conditions,” causing what the document dramatically calls “repeated catastrophic incidents.”
Sources that absolutely do not exist also claim Mr. Depends now suffers from a fictional medical condition known as “McDonald’s Shitsfromcoronacokediet,” which parody doctors describe as “a devastating combination of fast food, Diet Coke, and poor life choices.” Medical experts in the satire allegedly warn the condition is “permanent, loud, and emotionally destructive to nearby civilians.”
The fictional filing also requests:
A restraining order
Relocation to an undisclosed bunker
A completely new identity
“Several industrial-strength air fresheners”
Emotional support therapy involving quiet forests and probiotics
Social media exploded immediately after the fake story appeared online, with memes, reaction videos, and AI-generated courtroom sketches flooding the internet within minutes.
Legal analysts who also do not exist reportedly stated:
“This is either the strangest lawsuit in modern history or someone lost a bet during a 3 a.m. Taco Bell run.”
Further imaginary charges are said to be pending.
Copyright 52026
