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Shadows of The Past
I thought of you tonight
On a windswept high,
As the music I was listening to
Crushed my soul
I’ve never felt so sad…and alone
As I listened, I wrote down these words
A lady working at the Applebees
said “I’m so dead inside” not talking to me specifically, but tonight I wonder if she was reading me, you see her words were out of the blue. In passing, everlasting
Now, as of this moment, it feels like death by a thousand cuts, each one hurts worse than the last one. I’m ashamed to say I’ve asked the Lord to take me from this . Having no knowledge how long these painful cuts will last.
Perhaps it is only prepping me for Hell? Telling me that this sadness will be far far worse, when I die.
The loneliness, even always lying there within me, never seemed quite like this before.
In the past, it seemed like I was saved by my Lord, and my music, or my therapeutic words written by this mad man, inside of me. But now it seems like there’s no one listening. I’m sure somehow I deserve this. I’m getting what’s coming to me.
Only my shadows of the past, may care enough to weep. Perhaps they’ve stopped caring about me too…
