Lately wandering through the gates of hell,
dancing around their expectations.
Seen in this world as a mere child,
my fate in my guardians hands.
Living simply to do as they please,
not a moments time left for myself.
Screams of resentment and anger,
for the choices I made alone.
Putting my education on hold,
to work out a few plans of my own.
Trying to make this life make sense,
not to them, but for myself.
Pressure just builds up around me,
this stress so fucking unbareable.
Wanting for my chance to live,
live the life I keep alive in my dreams.
I want to give my life for other people,
but I don't know where to begin.
So many options open in a world
that still feels so very cold.
Crushing myself under this weight,
of what my plans have to be.
I just wanted to be myself,
start there and keep flying around.
But I guess it seems to me that
what I want matters not here.
Only everything they see for me,
not what I want and crave to be.