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I feel like I'm five again,
That's when it all began.
I remember the day my father left.
He still hasn't paid for his theft.
My childhood was robbed from early on.
He walked out and was gone.
I was too young,
I didn't completely understand.
I just remember comforting my mother.
We held each other and we cried together.
I feel like I'm five again.
Because I feel as if there is no end.
I'm so sick of playing pretend.
I've learned from early on.
That you can't really trust no one.
My heart was cracked from the start.
Because my father broke it apart.
Everytime he said he'd be there,
but someone else always came up.
Everytime he said he did care,
Whatever I did it wasn't good enough.
I feel like I'm five again.
I spilt the apple-juice,
he yelled at me meanly.
His carpet was worth more than me.
I now understand why I am the way I am.
I've been looking for a father in everyone.
I know now why I've always felt alone.
It all started when I was a little boy.
I was left alone to devise my ploys.
I had to learn from very early on.
How to fend for myself with out anyone.
I feel like I'm five again.
Because I'm in a confused state of mind.
There's no other reasons left to find.
I guess I must've learned from the best.
The abused has become the abuser.
I also walk away when I'm unsure.
When I can't take it, I escape it.
I'd rather leave than argue.
I try my best to avoid confrontation.
I find it hard to express my feelings.
I never give my all to anyone.
That's probably why I'm alone.
I feel like I'm five years old again.
Searching for something I'll never win.
It's too hard for me to even begin.
I'm not ready to go steady.
I should be past this already.
I have to find myself again.
I need to nurture the child within.
I gotta live life like I'm alive,
but I still feel like I'm five.