Author Information
Subconsciously
Just when I thought I was over you.
You still got the better of me.
I spend each day not thinking of you.
But your face is there subconsciously.
I rarely sleep that much anymore.
Cause' I hate waking up alone.
I'd rather distract myself endlessly.
Forgeting you isn't that easy.
Last night I had a dream.
We were like we used to be.
I heard your voice and I saw your face.
Then I woke up in the same dark place.
I really don't know what to say.
Just place the blame all on me.
I wasn't happy where we were.
I wanted a better future.
Loving you wasn't that hard at first.
Then it went from bad to worse.
I must admit I'm not perfect.
Maybe that's why we once fit.
I have my drama too.
I'm sorry I put that burden on you.
Subconsciously,you'll always be a part of me.
I wouldn't trade the world for our memories.
Cause' it always wasn't that bad.
You're the best that I've ever had.
You bought me that ring at Disneyland.
I remember you placing it on my hand.
In that moment I never felt so beautiful.
Time stood still it was just me and you.
I can't believe I deserted my best friend.
You we're my world you were my everything.
Subconsciously,your love wasn't enough for me.
It's not your fault I'm so hard to make happy.
I know you did your best and I appreciate it.
But I have to carve my own path in my life.
Sometimes I think if we were ever to meet again.
Could I be content on having you just as a friend.
I don't like to think of you with someone else.
It drives the dagger deep in my wounded heart.
I realize its so selfish of me,
to not want you to be happy with someone else.
I just can't replace you so easily.
There must be someone seriously wrong with me.
I've stopped wearing my jewelery.
It reminds me too much of you and me.
I'm not wearing that much makeup anymore.
Cause' only for you I'd like to dress up for.
Since I've left I dropped alot of weight.
I look a lot healthier but don't feel that great.
I'm now twenty-six and I still don't know the answer.
I don't know when to let go or when to hold on longer.
Just know this subconsciously,
You'll always have a part of me.
Maybe one day we'll cross paths again.
I'd love to have you as my friend.
