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Nice Guys Finish Last
No Matter how hard I try,
I'll always end up back there.
Walking down side-walks past.
With my head towards the ground.
It's so hard to look upward.
When you feel so weighed down.
The Earth must rest on these shoulders.
I just can't seem to let it go.
I'm no longer searching,
I could never love like I've loved before.
I'm learning not to crave another.
I've gotten into too much trouble before.
In the sun's rays I need to bask.
Cause' I'm too frostbitten inside.
I can't give anyone my heart,
Cause' it was never mine to begin with.
I can't afford to love someone else at the moment.
I'm too vulnerable and I'm allergic to the bullshit.
I've borrowed years from myself,
and thoughtlessy gave them to someone else.
It might as well have been the world.
Anything and everything I've always allowed.
But not anymore,
Can't be so naive as I was before.
I guess they've spoiled it for the next.
If there is a "next" in my near future.
I'm not going to try and rush things.
Cause' I've done that all along.
We all wear a mask.
It's human to hide your faults.
Yet we all make mistakes,
most don't own up to their regrets.
Walking around in the "denial cloud".
Not listening to the warning signals.
While everyone around me screams out loud.
Inhailing smoke and breaking mirrors.
My fist went through that window-pain.
My blood splattered like crimson rain.
Doesn't that show you,
How much I indeed loved you?
Anger only exists out of love.
Because you have to like something enough,
To take your time to decide to hate it.
So lately I'm trying to talk to new people.
I feel so alone and ragged -torn.
Yet I've always felt torn between two.
My own best interest and yours.
I chose my own road away from you.
I wanted more for myself.
I do appreciate all that you've done for me.
But I have to be the maker of my own destiny.
I'm growing impatient,
I wish my life would just start again.
I only feel whole when I'm with someone.
That's one of my biggest faults.
I give them the attention I should focus on myself.
Then I wonder why I end up with nothing.
Funny how that works out.
I think I finally see the pattern now.
When they get too close for comfort I pull away.
I have no one to blame but myself.
I've just been through too much shit.
I wonder if its even really worth it.
Everyone has an experation date.
The first three weeks are usually the best.
When we're still putting our fakest face forward.
Being so afraid of rejection,
We think up a false projection.
Might as well be at the drive in.
Cause' your front is the white elephant in the room.
Its just so obvious as the dagger in my heart.
too much of my blood has been shed.
Please don't be the one to pull it out.
So Im in no rush to get hurt again.
I'm not as desperate as I used to be.
I don't plan to fall for the next pretty face.
I'm looking for a soul with some substance.
I want to shop-around before I decide.
I'm looking at all my different options.
I don't want to feel tied down like before.
I was born to be a wanderer.
Never staying in one place for too long.
I loose interest in things too quickly.
What could you possibly show me,
Show me something,
that'll make me want to stay.
Could you be the one that completes me?
If you do then for how long?
Before one of us bends too far and breaks.
We all eventually move on.
In my case I won't find true love or happiness.
Because nice guys finish last.
