Author Information
When It Rains
It's raining today.
You're favorite type of day.
Just when I think I'm over.
It turns out I'm still under.
I'm under the influence.
The influence of you.
I've craved your presence,
for the last five years.
I gave into your persistence.
You've always loved me more.
I couldn't love that way again.
You we're once my best friend.
Now I'm flying free.
Apron strings no longer tied to me.
I've tried to change you.
I've only wanted the best for you.
It may sound hard to believe.
But it's the only thing that I find true.
I'm dating again,
once again trying to make a connection.
Though the face my be different.
All I see is you.
I still feel for you.
I'm past the hatred.
I know what I said.
I thought I'd be better off.
I thought I'd be able to replace you.
I know that I was wrong.
If you're reading this.
I know you might be.
I'm sorry for all of the pain.
I'm sorry for the hurt.
I didn't know how to be loved.
I'm always questioning every situation.
I wish you happiness.
I hope you once again find love.
I wish you health and acceptance.
Learn to love who you are.
You always put up with my shit.
My self-esteem was a big issue.
You always had a glow about you.
One of the things I loved about you.
I was drawn to your aura.
You had such a beautiful smile,
I wonder if it's a frown now.
I don't want to reconcile.
Nothing I could say could change this.
I have to move on,
I have to learn from my mistakes.
You we're my mistake.
One that I continued to make.
I'm not one to quit.
Honey, I gave it my all.
I lost myself in you.
I tried to live in your world.
I just didn't fit in.
I'm a different genre altogether.
Everytime it rains I think of you.
How you loved the rain.
How you loved the sound of thunder.
How we used to be so warm in eachother's arms.
How those moments seemed to last forever.
I couldn't love you any harder.
I loved you more than myself.
I drowned myself in everything that was you.
Losing track of my goals and dreams.
I've sacrificed everything.
After the bitter words,
I still wonder how you are.
After all the kicked-in doors.
I still wish you well.
After all the tears,
I wish I could take them all back.
After we shared all our fears,
I wonder if you've learned to live with yours.
I'm afraid,
I don't want to fall in love again.
I'm fearful of losing my heart.
I don't have much of one left.
I've left a piece with everyone I've ever loved.
My wall is crumbling,
the barb-wire is rusting.
Caution tape don't work anymore.
My glass is cracked all all smudged up.
I'm not open to all.
I'm scared to care.
When it rains,
I'll always think of what once was.
Walking down an empty sidewalk,
I miss the touch of your hand.
Smoking my cigarettes,
I remember what you tasted like when we kissed.
I was your freak.
You saw past my veneer.
You saw past my brick wall.
You looked past my exterior,
You saw the sad little boy inside,
the one that just wanted to be held.
I just wanted to be loved and accepted by someone.
I got what I wanted and didn't now how to deal with it.
I'm more accustomed to pain,
I guess I find it easier to deal with.
When I wasn't happy with myself,
I took it out on you.
You we're my punching bag.
I should've never abused you the way I did.
I never said I was perfect.
I'm not perfect.
I'm vain and I want the best.
I crave attention and affection.
I wanted all of your time.
I grew jealous when you were not around.
I was insecure,
thinking no one else could ever want me.
I thought I'd die,
If one day you'd decide to leave me.
But I was the one who always left you.
I always jump the gun,
I throw in the towel first.
I am indeed selfish.
Are world always revolved around me.
You did everything in your power to make me happy.
Yet it still wasn't enough for me.
So in the end,
I left my bestfriend.
There was no argument.
Everything we had to say,
Has already been said.
I abandoned the one I loved.
I didn't see a future with you.
I didn't want you to deal with my shit anymore.
I had to grow up and be independent.
I was always too dependent on you.
I have to make myself happy.
I should've never put that burden on you.
I need to work on my self-esteem.
I need to learn to love my skin.
Hopefully one day,
we'll be able to look back at this,
and only focus on the good memories.
Cause' are time together wasn't always bad.
All the arguments and break-ups.
All the apartments and bitter words.
All the kisses and accomplishments.
I still remember the day I first met you.
I will cherish these memories.
I will always carry them with me.
Eventually I'll forget all the pain.
I'll always think of you,
When it rains.
