Part 1

It comes and goes, wanting to leave,
leave all the pain, leave the world behind,
I don't see any point in being here,
Physically yes, I'm alive,
but honestly I feel dead inside,
Every now and then I feel happy and swell,
but soon it slowly fades away.
The pain starts over, like a stream,
it keeps flowing, there's no dam to stop it,
I want to escape, to flee and hide...
I look to the razor, the cigerette to relieve stress,
but it only reminds me of how screwed up I am.
Just put on a happy face, keep on going,
that's my bonly strategy...
Only I know how much it hurts,
Too much is on me, I need a relief,
A gun? A rope?
I doubt I would ever go through with it,
that wouldn't solve anything,
If all the "christians" are right,
I'll only go to hell sooner.
I don't want to be here, 
my family hurts me most.

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