Once and Never Again

I cannot forget the feel of you,

         or the ruins in which you left me.

I thought I could lock it away to remeber to-morrow,

but you never were the type to leave quietly.

Preferring rather to weave your web slowly beforehand,

waiting for another victim to get caught up in your lies.



You lived your life as a play,

rehearsing the lines and scenarios over and over,

hoping the next time you wouldn't fuck it up as bladly as before.

The situations were always the same,

only the faces changed.



When your grief overtook that fragile spirit,

you took relief up your nose,

not realizing that by opening your eyes you were only hurting yourself more.

I think you wanted it to kill you,

but were too scared to admit it...

even to yourself.



I hate you and I love you.

You drained my soul just enough to leave me wanting more.

I guess I must be a glutton for punishment,

for I still ache for your fix, for the soothing burn that is the sight of you.



Call me obsessed,

call me jealous,

I am all this and so much more.



For I cannot forget the feel of you,

or the ruins in which you left me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written for a friend I had a long time ago, who I loved so fiercely I am almost ashamed to admit it. It took me quite some time to realize she was a drug addict... a truth which broke me inside. I wrote this for her, after the dust had settled.

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