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It Has Begun Once More
It has been quite a while sense I last wrote,
Yet now I feel it may be time to begin again.
It seems as though darkness is taking over once more,
Clouding my mind, effecting my every decision, changing my very way of life.
I thought it to be over, however, I suppose I was deadly wrong.
Life no longer seems to have meaning,
My soul, engulfed in darkness, seems to slowly and painfully be rotting away.
My mind is filled with questions and thoughts,
None of which I am proud of; all of which I am ashamed of.
Now I face a new dilemma;
Should I push those closest to me away for fear of hurting them,
Or shall I confide in them, even though I feel as though I shouldn't bother others with my problems?
I feel once again as though I am truly alone,
No one there to help me though.
I feel like a loner again,
Not only as if I shouldn't have friends or associate with people,
But it is now as though I no longer deserve any of this or any happiness,
And am extremely ignorant for thinking so at all.
With all these things once more on my mind,
And society’s need to tell people not only how to act but how they should feel,
How can I possibly maintain a social life?
Chet Jordan
2:57 PM
3-1-04
