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All night long,

All things on my mind seem to come to a point.

These things plague my dreams horribly,

No longer do I dream,

It is now only nightmares.

It would be fine if these nightmares only caused me to lose sleep,

But now it is to where they are on my mind from the time I wake till I go back to sleep.

My heart races as I write, here and now, from remembering fear that I feel every night.

I’m now finding that there are more and more days I just want to cry,

I’m also finding it harder to hold my tears back as I try to be strong for my friends and help them with their problems and not to burden them with mine.

Music once was an escape for me,

My way out of this world,

Away from all my worries and troubles,

However, now it only amplifies my thoughts and seems to make my worries and troubles worse.

I sit here trying to write and find my self at a lose of thoughts,

I can not even organize myself enough to do what I do best… write.

I need to leave this place,

Just get away,

But it’s clear I can’t.

It seems death will be my only way to get away from anything,

However, eternity in Hell will only make things worse.

So what can I do?

I can’t tell anyone what’s going on because I don’t feel comfortable talking to others about my problems,

Yet I know that if I don’t do something soon that I may go completely insane.



Chet Jordan

3-17-04

11:37 PM