We all have those relatives,
we pretend we do not know.
But every holiday they show up,
Aunt Acid and Uncle Joe.
Here they come up the walk,
with all their little brats.
Cousin's Snotty, Whiney and Bully
and that one who's way to fat!
We put on all our happy faces,
as we go outside to greet.
Just like always their ugly old car,
is parked the wrong way on our street!
They have it packed to the hilt,
as though they have come to stay!
But thank-God they are here,
only for one day!
Aunt Acid, with her sour puss,
brings dessert like every time before.
Its always that fruity jello mold,
that looks like it hit the floor.
Uncle Joe will play his tricks,
like the quarter behind the ear.
hell, he'll even show you his appendix scar,
if he's had the right amount of beer!
Their brats all run around,
going from room to room.
I just ignore them and watch the clock,
and pray that they'll leave soon!
We hear about all the ailments,
Aunt Acid has acquired.
And how in only a few more years,
Uncle Joe (who hardly works) will be retired.
Finally comes the shining hour,
when they announce that they must go.
I run quickly, for their coats
and bid farewell, to Aunt Acid and Uncle Joe.
2002