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you don't hate me now
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inside You don’t hate me now, but you will.
You’ll grow to hate the sound of my voice
And the way I say your name.
You’re going to hate that I’m always late
And that I’m late because I bought coffee.
You’ll hate my hair and how I can’t keep it neat.
You’ll hate the shoes I wear.
You’ll hate my feet.
You’re gunna hate my touch in the mornings
When you’re just waking up.
You’ll hate my “good mornings”.
The way I say “I love you” won’t sound as sweet.
You’ll wait for my “goodbyes” the moment we meet.
When I grab your hand you won’t hold on as tight
And this is what scares me.
It keeps me up every night.
You’re gunna hate how I like pills
And that I take them when I’m bored.
I know I already hate myself for it,
But I know you’ll hate me tenfold.
You’ll hate the shape of my body
After hearing me complain about it so much.
This is why I’m scared.
This is why I’m nervous,
Because once you have me you’ll grow to hate me.
That’s how I work.
I will twist and squeeze all my love into you
Until you’re ready to pop.
And when you do you’ll leave,
Tell them I was crazy and a bitch
Because whatever you could give me
I know I’ll want more.
I always want more and I’m growing to hate myself .
Resenting the hate you don’t hold for me,
I’m my own worst enemy.
