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Fence built out of Guilt
Folder:
For My Children
Mitchell,
my son,
my first true love.....
I've written this poem for you
and my prayer is for you to see
directly into me
so hopefully from this day
your pain will begin to fade
and than you can finally deal
with everything you really feel
due to all the ways
and all the endless days
I have been gone
Yes, I know for far too long
because I've let my guilt
let a fence be built
between our two hearts
I know it's what has torn us truly apart
and has kept us from getting to know
and being able to show each other
who we've become since all the years
I succumbed to a lifestlye of cheating
the true meaning
from all aspects of my life
due to all the trivial strife
that I found I could not deal
with how it all made me feel
so again I'd choose to numb
even though it sounds so dumb
that's the way I used be
and thank God
it no longer claims me
I just thought you should know
that is clearly the way I was before....
Mitchell I finally surrendered
and prayed that God
would enter my life
and from here on give me the strength
to carry on and fill me
with his Holy Spirit
so I could therefore give it
the love that you have always deserved
a love the God ensured he preserved
for a day when I was ready
when he knew I was really steady
and now I've finally made it there
I now choose to dare
to make all the wrongs, I did, right
and hoped that you just might
forgive me and consider the chance
to let me show you, my son, just who I am
I hope you'll no longer fear
and just trust that I am here
to extend to you my love
in the same way, that God, has to me from above.
Mitchell I have so missed being, to you, a mother
however I do not wish
to smother you with
all I pray
but I just had to sieze this day
to explain to you
where I've been
that I'm back
oh and that fence I had built from all my guilt
has been knocked down!
I love you Mommy........................
