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a letter that will never be read
im starting to not care.in a way it's a relief.it hurts to care.sleepless nights and days that last forever.i never dreamt of you.why? what does it mean? why does my caring for you make you so angry?it's not fair.i can't watch you hurt yourself anymore.i feel like im trying to be your father.telling you constantly right from wrong.that isn't my place. i want to be the man you love.not the preaching controller i've become.the only good thing about me is that i care.i CANNOT stand by and let you hurt yourself.so we fight.we argue.you resent me.you close yourself off and construct the wall.everythings my fault.you took our daughter and left.you cheated and lied.you did what you thought was right.why can't you understand.i had to protect you from you.that was not my place.my place was by your side not in front of you.i'm tired of caring.why do i have to look back forever and you get to move on.i care so i stay in this dark place.every day i remember.every day i live it.i bet you don't even think of me.i'm that forgettable.just some crazy asshole who kept you from living."living"? what your doing is killing yourself.some part of you must see that.it hurts to care for you because you don't care for yourself.i miss our daughter but i can't be near you..i'm going to miss out on seeing her grow.seeing her laugh and smile.i feel like every moment i spend with her i have to steal.i feel like a fugitive on the run.i never told you but she called me dad when she was 3 months old. i was her first word.i understand now it would of made you mad.my words mean nothing to you.so goodbye my drunken little angel.you saved me from myself when we first met.i tried to save you but wasn't good enough.i failed.the most important moment of my life and i failed.i've done a lot of bad terrible things.i've been a destroyer.i tried so hard to be a good person.i guess people can't change who they are.i'm afraid to see my daughter.what if she hates me.what if she sees the darkness in me.i think the best thing is to stay away from her.i'm afraid i'll only hurt her.don't bother replying i can't even think of you anymore
