Scabbed

if I had a scar for every mistake i've made..
I think i'd have as many as you.. 
Satan is impaling his dagger into my throat..
why can't you see that inbetween every breath, I choke..
you spin that thread like some spider in the corner above your bed..
casting webs into thin air.. 
you look so evil while you sit back & stare...
everything around you struggling..
 
your screams echo in the center of my head...
sound waves of pain..
pulling me further into disdain..
from you I try to refrain...
I swear every single day is just another suicide..
all you've got is filthy money on your mind..
 
if I could, I would wipe you out..
never to see the grey of another fucking New Jersey day..
would you finally be happy?
stop saying "it'll always be this way"..
cause fuck you i'm going to get out of here no matter what I have to do.
I've grown tired of the constant debating with you..
just let me do what i'm going to do..
apparently my hands aren't clean anyway, so bloodstains wouldn't make a difference..
it can be washed off, but the memory leaves a permanent stain.
 
inhaling that same toxic air...
how do you ever expect to get anywhere..?
your eyes have grown faint & your laughter means nothing to me..
you're all just bathing in one another's self destructive disease.. 
 
I want so badly to just float in the sky...
I need a real change of tide.. 
I want to climb a purple mountain,
dive off & grow some black angel wings,
man of all the fucking simple things.... 
can I fly to another dimension?
or will this back always be scabbed of the wings you've prevented me...?
robbing me of my potential as I watch everyone else let their's coil down the drain..
damn.. which of us is truly insane?
 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

2.8.13