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Armchair.

One Saturday morning I went for a trip to Woolwich. I occasionally look in second hand shops to see if there is the odd bargain to be had. Walking along looking in the shop windows, I saw this old armchair. The armchair looked very comfortable and I thought that it would go nicely with the other furniture in my living room. Going into the shop I sat in the chair and dropped off into a light sleep. The shopkeeper awoke me and I asked him what the chair would cost. After a little bargaining I bought the chair for ten English pounds. I paid another ten shillings for the man to deliver the chair. I went home happy that I had got the chair so cheap.

On the following Monday afternoon the chair was delivered. It now stands in my living room and it is the most comfortable chair that I have ever owned. One day a few months later I had a visitor from the local council. The man told me that the council wanted to re-tar the road and If I had any objections. This was so unusual that I invited the man in to my living room and gave him the armchair to sit in. It was then that I realised what a treasure the chair was. Hardly had the man sat in the chair when he started telling me the story of his life. Unknown to me the chair was a so-called truth chair. Whoever sat in it was compelled to tell the truth.

The man was not from the council he was a wizard that wanted to get the truth from me about fairies and all that goes on in fairyland. The man had read my stories on the Internet and thought that I was an easy target to get information from. I waited until the man had finished telling me his story and looked at the clock it was twelve minutes past midnight. I pulled him from out of the chair and told him that I now knew all about the councils wanting to repair the road. I made us a cup of Horlicks and invited him to stay the night in my spare room.

In the morning I made us breakfast and then sent him on his way. From me he had received no information and I think he wondered what he had been doing for so long in my armchair. The armchair was to prove to be a real blessing; whenever someone sat in the chair I would hear all of his or her life’s history. It has saved me from all sorts of tricksters that occasionally knock on the door wanting to sell things or get me involved in some trick game that was mostly illegal. My chair also helped me when someone was in trouble I would know all about the troubles and help in a most discreet way.

One day Her Majesty Queen Feeana, Queen of all the fairies came to see me and before I could warn her she sat on the armchair. She too told me about her life but I am pleased to say she spoke in the old language so I did not understand what she was saying. I awoke Her Majesty with a cup of hot Horlicks and told her all about my chair. Her Majesty was quite surprised that it had not warned her when she first sat in the chair. Her Majesty then told me that usually a truth chair would warn her as she went to sit down but mine did not. We were both very curious as to why it did not warn Her Majesty.

Her Majesty used her Magic Mirror to see what kind of history it had and the reason why it had not warned her that it was a truth chair. Looking in the mirror I first saw that an oak tree had been chopped down to make the wood for the chair. Then a cow had been killed for its leather. Then strangely enough four Leprechauns went to work on the chair. They were skilful indeed and soon a chair took shape. They did not stuff the chair with straw or any other material. Each Leprechaun went off on his own and came back a week later with a bundle under their arms. Each had collected a large quantity of truth herbs. When the herbs were placed together like in the stuffing of a chair they gave off a certain gas that went into the nose of the person sitting on the chair. This caused them to tell the truth.

The reason the Leprechauns had made the chair was the fact that they were tired of being cheated out of their wages or of being taken advantage of when helping people who claimed they were poor and in reality had large sums of money well hidden. This had happened so often that the chair was their answer to stop people taking advantage of them. Once in the chair one told the truth from birth on nothing was left out.

A magic spell had been placed on the chair its rightful owner would just have a refreshing sleep when sitting in the chair. Strangers are compelled to tell the truth. Then Her Majesty Queen Feeana told me of three other chairs that were known as truth chairs. It seems that after the first chair was so successful the four Leprechauns decided to build a chair for each of them. The chairs are ever so old but the wood and the leather and the herbs were treated by magic spells so that they would last practically forever.

If you ever sit in one of theses chairs do not try to tell a lie as it would send a sharp pain to your head and after a few of these pains you will like every person that has ever sat on such a chair tell the truth all about yourself. Remember I have warned you with my little story. It does not pay to tell lies.