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My Parents

Put the kettle on my old mate, let us have a cuppa, I am thirsty, it must be the dust in the air. Dust in the air, what dust? There is no dust in the air, no dust in the air why does your Mother go around every day dusting the furniture and all of the banister railings leading upstairs. Oh you mean that dust, I’ll go with that, there is dust everywhere and what is worse we breathe it in. God knows what it is doing to our lungs.

Nice cup of char what mark is it? Darjeeling, Mum wont buy any other brand. Sugar is Tate and Lyles I take it. Yes Tate and Lyles Mum has bought since she got married to our Dad. She swears by it says it is the best sugar in the world. Mind you I do not think that our Mum has seen any other kind of sugar at least not that I know of.

Have a look in that round tin there should be a few biscuits in there unless you have eaten them all. I’ll have a look. Cant get the lid off this tin did you put it on? No that was mum she does it purposely to stop dad eating all of the biscuits at one go. What your old Dad is he like that? I would not have thought so he is always so cool, calm and collected? I see he has got you fooled then. My old dad is as crafty as a cartload of monkeys.

Mind you better not let him hear you saying that or there will be hell to pay. Mum can get away with anything but you me old mate no way. Dad is not to be fooled with. Watch it when he is about. He might be small but he is very wiry and has a hefty punch. Better not to fool about with him.

Nice cup of tea, I’ll have to come again that is when and if I am real thirsty otherwise I will go to the pub a pint is the only thing that will beat your tea you know. Beer will never beat a good cup of Darjeeling sweetened with Tate and Lyles sugar and milk from the Farm just up the road. Delivered fresh from the cows every day by the Farmers lovely daughter, have you ever seen her?  Lovely blond curly hair and a figure believe me that is out of this world. I’ll have to go now thanks for the tea, see you again soon cheerio best regards to your Mum and Dad.