PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

The excitement. The thoughts. The feelings. Rooftops, eclipses, and karaoke bars. Yeah it was everything we wanted. Everything we couldn’t wait for. Everything we hoped for. I can’t stray away. Haunted. Missing.. how you taste. How you smell..how you felt. Sometimes I still hear you snoring in my dreams.. I wake up and look for you.. or your messages. .where are your arms?  Instead I eagerly blind myself with the brightness of my phone only to find that I cannot go back to sleep. Is it because I need you? Or is it disappointment? I know what you’re thinking.. that this is my fault.. that my words somehow didn’t match up to my actions. . That I’m a liar. And maybe that I’m lying about this too. You think I’m torn. Or that I’m confused. But you never understood what my fear felt like. Because you were busy fearing something else. And while I was brave for you. I understand now, that you were never brave for me. Nobody knows how I feel. I feel lost. Incomplete. Like I’ve said a million words, that don’t even exist. That don’t make a difference. How could WE be here? Why do I feel like you still belong to me? Why can’t I get it out of my head? Why does everything I do still remind me of you. I can’t shower in peace. I can’t get dressed in peace. I can’t go to sleep in peace. And I don’t wake up in peace. Nobody knows. You disregard my words.. my feelings.. it must be a defense mechanism.. How do I break that.. why do I take blame? How can you not see my pain,  it you see everyone else’s?  Nobody really does. How can you be the strong one ? Cause I was the scared one. I know the love that we shared. It can’t be compared. How can the signals get crossed that bad? How did I let this be? How can you be without me? How can I love without you? How can I love the way I did before I knew you even existed?