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I heart was broken too many times to say.. And then fixed by the most amazing guy i had ever met, but the was betrayed, people lie, do not speak the truth.. The things i know no one else does. They can not know how he broken my heart, kissed another girl and lost my trust, but there was more you see, but you all cant know simply because, i need him. if you all knew you'd drive him away but some how i just cant explain. though he fucked up and has broken me the love i have will not leave.. some days i wish it would so maybe the pain would stop, but as i think about it the more miserable i know I'd be.... For in life you have but one true love and right now i know i have found my one.. Yes he has broken my heart and lost my trust but we are a family we must fight, i will learn to forgive but never forget... and prepare myself for if it happens again, i will lose everything including my will to live and yet here i stay awaiting to be broken again..



The men i fall for all tell lies make me believe my heart will survive yet going to sleep i see the truth not a man in this world that i can trust..  even my father has let me down.. Made me believe i was not special causing me to frown, but now i see that i am strong, special and smart too.. no longer will a man cause we all the pain



unless it is Adam and he cheats on me again... My love for him is strong more than any of you see, other wise i could i have the power to still be.. But if he lets me down again thats it my life is done.



I know i have a little boy some one i love too much to explain. but some how when i look in his eyes all i feel is pain.. I am not good enough to be his mom, i do not deserve this wonderful boy I've been given. But some how i still have him.. please forgive these thoughts i have because i do not want to live.. please stop my pain the heartache i feel and just make me happy to be here..



don't get me wrong i love my son but some how i feel as if i cant go on.. but i will for him and for Adam too because both of them need me and i need them too.



I don't not wish to bring it up i want to forget but can not... both my boys i hold so dear..A life with out them i do fear.. please forgive me Adam and never leave.